Over 2500 years ago one happy fellow under Bodhi tree realised that desires are fuel for suffering. My personal dream and goal is to learn how to live in the moment instead of imaginary tomorrow - and that paradox is giving me a headache.
In the beginning of 2019 I quit my job as the Head of Sales and Marketing in a growing multi-million company. At the time I was also doing little side business´s like audio works and my art was selling pretty well so I decided to become a full-time entrepreneur - a hunter-gatherer of assignments, as I tend to call myself. I knew this decision would cost me around $60K a year in lost salary but after buying a Rolex I learnt that the time won't become more precious by watching it grovel from an expensive watch. So, with that $60K´s I bought an opportunity to become by own boss and make my living of doing whatever and whenever I will. Sounds like a dream come true. And it was. But worse than an unfulfilled dream is a dream that has actually come true. Why? Because a dream come true on Monday becomes everyday on Tuesday. And - at least for me - reality often hits with many elements that suck.
“ ...goals are the melted cheese with which we fill the holes in the Emmenthal of us."
Holey Grails and Desiralarms
Yeah, sounds silly, but let me explain it by using some cheesy symbolic: Dreams reveal our desires. Every dream, urge, will or desire is a signal of a "need" for "something better". We start looking for a change when the present feels dissatisfying. Sometimes the "desiralarm" does go off ´cause of necessities but too often ´cause of some superficial stuff like silly materia. And that stuff is the melted cheese with which we fill the holes in the Emmental of us. But; those holes are the things that make us "us". Those holes are the mental side that continues changing the outcomes in the universal chain of causations after our cheese-bodies have gone through a metamorphosis obeying the first law of thermodynamics. Shortly put: our bodies die, but our acts and outspoken mind will stay. So, say "Cheese!", you Holey Grail!
Gold digger sitting on a diamond
If we could see ourselves already complete (but still open to learn new stuff), settled and satisfied, we would have to spend money only on food (cheese maybe?), water and some warm and dry place we could call home. (Of course there´s always some hedonistic people and adrenaline junkies whose brains will always need a little extra kick from neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine.) The moment we realise that we actually NEED very little, the spending stops. Yes, our constant desires keep the world economy rolling - but on the side, us suffering. We are sitting on a diamond but keep searching for gold.
“ Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." - the Dalai Lama
According to the calculations of mathematician Samuel Arbesman there's less than 1:100,000 chance of someone becoming famous. Chances of winning the Powerball lottery is almost 3000 times smaller (1:292,201,338) but in 2002 a man named Jack Whittaker beat the odds and won $314.9 millions. After winning his life started falling apart. Of course people also have a lot more modest dreams, but my point is that when clinging happiness on the fulfillment of a goal or a dream, even small dreams can bring disappointment: The dream in dream shoes, dream job, dream car, etc wears of pretty fast. True happiness is not a chain of short-lasting kicks. But don't get me wrong; dreaming without expecting true long-lasting happiness hanging on it, can be wonderful and even healthy. (NOTE: According to a professor of psychology at Otterbein College and a practicing clinical psychologist in Columbus, Ohio, Noam Shpancer, Ph.D., on what comes to dreaming big, aptitude is better than passion to follow, but that's a different topic.)
I don't like setting goals or making strategies. I personally think that making and focusing on the BIG plans would make me blind for all the possible opportunities that comes along the way. I try to keep my mind and senses open to spot the possibilities that quite often shows up in strange places, times and disguises. (I also think that ambitiousness really isn't as positive feature as generally often considered - but that too is a different topic.) But anyway; keep on dreaming if it makes you feel good! (Maybe these are just a bitter thoughts of a frustrated musician who's ambitions and dreams has only brought problems and suffering for close to 30 years.) - T the BB -